Inspiration in movies

Somehow I still do not feel like writing more about our New York vacation.

A couple of months ago, I received a Netflix advertisement that included a top 200, as in The Most Popular 200 films selected by Netflix members. I saved the list until today. This afternoon, I scanned it and marked how many movies I already watched. Then I ran a systematic IMDB search on the movies I had never heard about. Having gathered a short-list of six movies, I headed to our local rental store with Princesse and was dismayed to find out that none of the movies were available there on DVD. As a matter of fact, only one of the six was available at all, in VHS format.

Cunning Netflix, they knew what they were doing, shrewdly exposing the competition’s shortcomings. We headed to Blockbuster to give it a chance, and found two movies out of the six in my list.

So I watched Hitchcock’s Notorious and Paul Newman’s Cool Hand Luke today. Two great movies that I did appreciate and enjoy. Now, Notorious was a beautifully acted and scripted movie, but it’s Cool Hand Luke that got me thinking tonight. Actually, a combination of that movie, The Economist’s coverage of the Katrina hurricane, recent efforts at mortgage refinancing, and a good Shiraz from Trader Joe’s. The deep thought of the day was: what if I were to lose everything I work hard for, overnight? No more condominium, no more job, no more wife? Everything gone! Nothing to hang on to, just myself and the world. Everything to start over. What would make me a different person than, say, whom I was ten years ago?

Well, my first thought is that in eight years, many more people have a positive memory of me rather than negative. Hopefully, they remember a person of unusually high intellectual standards and strong personal values, but not so judgmental as to be dislikable. Family and close friends would also remember a bit of love and selflessness, hard-won but well deserved.

Is that all, though? Frankly, I would have little else to show. The bulk of my efforts are to provide for Coeur and I, and eventually net a nice little house with a backyard, sprinkled with roses and lettuce, a hammock and maybe a small pond. I would be satisfied with this, but would I be proud at the end of my life, facing God or the rest of society? Assuredly not.

Most of us seek the proper answer by asking the following question, as in the movie Cool Hand Luke: what does God intend of me? Usually the answer is self-evident: seek your destiny in yourself; make the best of your talents. Well my talents are diverse, but it takes a lifetime to hone them. I readily know what I am not good at, but cannot easily discern where I would be able to leave a mark. Indeed it seems like most people who leave a mark were able to merely because they were dealt the right cards at the right time.

So, I just wait and hope to discern the time when I will be dealt the right cards. In the meantime, I follow the advice of my ex-boss: don’t hesitate to speak up your own mind if you have something to say. It conveniently fits with my strong dislike of hypocrisy.
But I can see myself acquiring a house, becoming a VP of Engineering or a CTO. Then what? I will still look back with little else to show than the love I shared with my family and close friends. It’s ironic that the real value of a life correlates so little with petty goals and self-satisfaction.

No wonder meeting Coeur and marrying her is the best thing that ever happened to me.